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[ Sunday
23/08/09 @ 12:17 am] |
Have any of you lost that one friend, that person who you thought will ALWAYS be there. Who said they would always be there, but, then, they got tired of you, or fed up with you, or just stopped caring about you, and they just left? After promising you they would never leave they break that promise? You have other friends, people who are your best friends, but that person just meant something to you, something really special, and while those other best friends of yours are people who you would die for in a minute, and they are still there and you know they always will be, you just feel... empty because they take that specialness away because they just don't care anymore. They accuse their leaving of being your fault. They say it's because you stopped caring. Because you pushed them away farther than they could take. Because you just weren't good enough. Because you just didn't try hard enough. They say that if you cared, that if you didn't push them away, that if you were good enough, that if you tried harder, then they would still be there. But, what I don't understand is why they can't understand that the only reason I push someone away was because I loved them so much, and that they meant so much to me, and that I got scared. I was frightened that they would take that love away. And I was right. They did. Why can't they understand? Then they tell you not to contact them but they might contact you when theyre ready. What if you dont want to wait? What if youre not ready to talk to them when they fucking decide to talk to you? This is my life too.
sorry, im done ranting. this all makes me want to throw up.
But we're friends. Real friends, and that means no matter how long it takes when they finally do decide to look back I'll still be here.
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[ Thursday
30/10/08 @ 11:47 am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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FRIENDS ONLY
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[ Tuesday
15/07/08 @ 5:19 pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Sandi Thom |
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Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
When the head of state didn't play guitar
Not everybody drove a car
When music really mattered and when radio was king
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
When pop stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when god saved the queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
My mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs
And playing games meant kick arounds
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In seventy-seven and sixty-nine revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
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[ Wednesday
9/07/08 @ 6:29 pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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denmark was amazing. sweden is fantatic, but rainy. ive been super busy swimming, running, working, and sightseeing with ali. soon ill have more time to update and more internet access. i miss you all already.
i havent had timeto even look at my friends posts yet, but i will get to them eventually...
<3 and a <# to someone special
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[ Tuesday
3/06/08 @ 12:45 am] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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growing up really does scare me. a lot. like you have no idea. -shivers-
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[ Tuesday
3/06/08 @ 12:23 am] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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work is good. i made $74 yesterday and $62 today. the girls still rock, as do most of the guys, but the creepers just keep on getting creepier. it getting harder and harder to avoid hanging out with them after work... they dont take hints well and are persistant buggers. only one more month though, so that should be good. the money is good, but i dont really like the work :/
i started my recent europen history class today. it doesnt actually look too bad. 90% of the points come from three essays that actually look interesting. so thats cool.
other than that, summer has been rocking. ive been chilling with all kinds of friends, hiking, working out, tanning occasionaly, whitening my teeth, reading, movies, shopping, cleaning, and all that good summer stuff. i need to spend more time on teaching myself to play guitar.
i think i want to buy another ipod. mine is almost full and im not too keen on deleting much, but im also not to keen on shelling out $350... hmmmmm. i also need to buy an exercise ball, theyre hella fun and better for you to sit on than a chair.
my phone got wet at work today, and then it went blank and i was so afraid it was fried, but the longer its been drying the better it works, so im hoping it will go back to 100%!
i need to start getting in better contact with all my swedish friends. im super excited, but also a liiitle bit nervous.
i cant decide if i should go in and get my bangs trimmed or let them grow out...
hey phoenix people, i miss you, so lets hang out! 602 653 6425
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[ Friday
30/05/08 @ 5:07 pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
] |
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[ Thursday
22/05/08 @ 11:02 am] |
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